Striving for Normalcy

nor-mal

Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.

The usual, average, or typical state or condition.

Definition found on line [Google]

When I was 6 years old, my mom took me to the dentist because my teeth were coming out crooked. After taking x-rays, we were told that I would need extensive orthodontics. I grew up wearing braces on my teeth. I had braces from age 6 to age 12, a painful surgery and specialized treatment to correct and align my rebellious teeth. Having all that metal in my mouth and the frequent visits to the dentist became quite normal for me.

I remember the day the braces were removed. Although my teeth looked absolutely gorgeous, it felt as if they had been removed along with the braces. I felt "toothless." Having beautiful brace-free teeth did not feel normal to me. It took me a few days to get used to my new smile.

I will confess that I was not fond of the removable retainers (upper and lower) that I was required to wear at night to prevent my teeth from shifting. I only wore them for a couple of years because I would have nightmares everynight. I would dream that I had some pasty cement in my mouth that would start to choke me. I would wake up because I could not breathe. I decided to wear the retainers every other night... then every couple of nights.

I did notice that my teeth would shift during the time that I was not wearing them. The physical pain I experienced every time I wore the retainers was excruciating - as if I was starting my orthodontics treatment all over again. But this time I was getting my teeth from crooked to straight overnight.  The nightmares got even worse preventing me from getting any sleep. Those retainers never felt "normal" to me. I opted to stop wearing them and witnessed as my beautiful straight teeth were slowly shifting and losing their perfect alignment.

For the past 20 years, I have not been happy with my teeth (my lower teeth). I envied everyone who had perfectly straight teeth. I often debated whether I should go through the experience of having something not "normal" in my mouth again. Just two months ago, I decided to get Invisalign to straighten my teeth. When my dentist put in some "buttons" on my teeth to help shift and align, I was physically uncomfortable with them. I could feel their sharpness and was not sure I could become accustomed to them. When I ate, I would find myself biting into my inner cheek or lip. I considered discontinuing the treatment. It was just too uncomfortable!

Surprisingly, just five days later, the buttons and their sharpness miraculously seemed to disappear. Even having the plastic trays became somewhat imperceptible. I could not even feel them anymore.  There was no more discomfort. Having those foreign objects in my mouth became "normal" to me.

Why am I sharing this story? Because it is a great analogy about "normalcy" in our day to day life. When we encounter an uncomfortable situation, we initially react to it. However, we often become accustomed to it. We fail to get out of it because we learn to live with it and consider it normal.

Is it normal to feel a bit angry every day? Is it normal to dislike a job where we spend 50% of our waking hours? Is it normal to "settle for" something far from what we truly desire? Is it normal to end relationships on "bad terms"?

We should first answer the question "What is NORMAL?" As humans we have a tremendous ability to adapt to any situation. Our body adjusts to temperature, to physical pain and to certain levels of stress. Our minds do the same. We can see this as we acquire knowledge and awareness. But, what about our spirit, our soul? How does our soul adapt? Does our soul know the difference between "normal" and unwanted abnormality?

What I believe is that there is not such thing as "normal" or "abnormal" to our soul. Our soul has complete clarity of what is in alignment and resonance with our true self, our true source. And that is where the "truth" resides, in our soul. When we are faced with a situation that challenges our integrity and/or our basic personal safety, our soul sends an immediate message to our body - a sharp pain in our stomach, our chest or other parts of our body.

Many times we fail to pay attention to these signs and choose to listen to our reasoning mind. Our mind will find a way to divert us from centering in our own self where our inner wisdom has all the answers available to us. After all, our mind will tell us, those "gut" feelings are not normal... Are they?

I have made it a practice to listen to my inner wisdom... my soul. I am still learning and working on finding equilibrium of body, mind and soul.  It is literally the continual swinging of both sides of the scale until that balance is achieved. It is the balance between telling the truth and hurting others; being assertive vs being aggressive; listening to my true self vs confusing it with my rambling ego.

I now realize that I do not want to become numb to obstacles that prevent me from moving forward. I do not want them be so normal and usual that I become accustomed and blind to them. What I want "normalcy" to be is that inner peace and balance. And that is what I am striving for in my life.