This exchange turned into a light-hearted discussion. We talked about situations when people normally lie, even by telling small "variations" of the truth. But then I reinforced my position, "I never lie, "got defensive and ended the conversation by abruptly getting up and leaving the room.
During this conversation I said something that would forever change the way I see the "truth." I said that I would never lie about a fact. I added that a fact is something that can be proven with supporting evidence.
Just like in a courtroom - If someone says that they were at a certain place at a given time, whatever the answer is can be proven true or false. When I stated that I never lied, I actually meant it. I do NOT lie about facts that can be proven with supporting "evidence."
If there is no evidence to contradict what I am saying, I am not telling a lie.... Is this accurate?
What about facts that are based on opinion, preference and beliefs? Can those facts then change every time our opinions, preferences or beliefs shift or vary? Would those facts that were once true become lies for that simple "shift" or variation? The answer would be, of course not. If I was once a vegetarian and decided to eat meat again would not change the fact that I was indeed a vegetarian. That fact would simply be "transformed."
The same rule applies to opinions and beliefs. Nobody would accuse us of lying if our opinions or beliefs changed from time to time.
And what about simple thoughts? How can anyone have hard proof of what is in somebody else's mind?..... or even their own mind? Nobody would accuse us of lying if we gave our opinion even if it seemed to be untrue. We could be saying, "I love that dress you are wearing," when in fact, we think it is the most hideous piece of clothing we have ever seen in our lives. Are we telling a lie? Are we just simply being polite?
And now let's go a little deeper. We would not accuse ourselves of lying when we give an opinion or statement that is not completely accurate. For example, we might say "yes" to someone's request for help when we really want to say "no." Is this a lie?... or are we just being very kind and generous individuals?
I finally realized that although I pride myself of never lying, I have been lying to myself my whole life:
- Every time I say "yes" when I really mean "no."
- Every time I say "no" when I really want to say "yes."
- Every time I hide my feelings and pretend they are not there.
- Every time I talk myself into a situation that goes against my principles or core values.
Aren't these lies bigger than those facts that can be proven false based on supporting "evidence"?
Having this new awareness has been a great insight for me. I am willing to take an honest look into my own soul. I am committed to living my life being "true" to myself. Are you willing to the the same?
