Connecting Dots

I remember watching the video of the commencement speech that Steve Jobs gave at Stanford University. His message really got to me. He talked about things that happen to us, things that might seem unfortunate. These events are dots, connecting dots, that we don't recognize until we are able to look back.

I also see people as connectors. Just think about how many of your close friends or people who are very dear to you were brought to your life by someone else... maybe by someone with whom you no longer communicate.

The first person I can think of is my ex-husband Dave. He was not particularly a good husband. He was physically, emotionally and psychologically abusive towards me and anyone around him. I got an order for protection against him and moved to California to get away from him.  If anyone had told me, "if you marry Dave, you will be divorced in less than 2 years and it will cost you over a quarter million dollars", I would have laughed at that ridiculous statement. Well, that is exactly what happened. Marrying and divorcing this man cost me over $350,000. I lost that money in just two years!!!!

Erica

What did I gain from that relationship???? Most people would say that the relationship was a huge mistake and that I would have been better off not even meeting him. That could not be farther from the truth. The truth is that I met Dave's daughters, Jenna and Erica, back in 2006 and fell in love with them. They became my daughters and friends instantly.

If someone asked me, "if you could change your past and erase Dave from it, would you do so?" My answer would be NO. If the only way to get Jenna and Erica in my life were to go through the painful marriage I experienced, I would do it all over again.  Jenna and Erica are a treasure to me!

I spent this weekend taking Erica's senior pictures. She has certainly grown up! She is not the little ten-year old I met. I remember playing ball in the backyard with her like it was just yesterday - it was seven years ago! It is even easier to spend time with her now that she is older. We can talk about... anything!

What an honor to have these girls in my life. I look forward to seeing them graduate from college, get jobs, become independent, get married and have children.

So, every time you feel like you have invested too much time in a relationship that eventually went nowhere, stop for a minute and reflect on how this relationship connected you to a job opportunity, other people or how it simply brought you more awareness. I can assure you that you always end up gaining more that what you put in... you just have to look back and connect the dots.

Events that Shape Our Lives

How many times have you experienced an event in your life that has forever changed your life - an event that was not expected and that takes you by surprise?... a sudden death in the family, an unplanned pregnancy, loss of a job or an accident?

And what about those decisions that you avoid making because of guilt or fear of the unknown? Tough decisions such as quitting a dreadful job, filing for divorce or having an abortion?

We generally think that negative events are out of our control and that difficult decisions can be avoided or delayed indefinitely. On the other hand, we tend to believe that positive and pleasant events are a result of our hard work and discipline... or simply good fortune.

My personal opinion is that the obstacles and challenges we encounter in our lives are what strengthen our mental and spiritual abilities while increasing our level of understanding, forgiveness and compassion. These seemingly negative experiences are actually gifts we are offered in life. But they only become gifts if we are willing to see beyond the pain and sorrow.

This Blog

I decided to start this blog to document my journey in the creation and the writing of my book and script. To be totally honest, I never thought I would be "blogging." It all started with my first blog "The Trevino-Alfieri Story." I wanted to speak up and tell my story. It was amazing how easy it was for me to write the numerous posts in that blog.

My intention in writing this current blog is to help me structure and keep me inspired to finish my book. The title of my book will be the same as this blog, "Who Is Writing Your Story?"

My book will focus on one specific series of related events that has had the greatest impact in my life. Through this book, I will be sharing the transformational process I went through and the increased spiritual awareness I have experienced.

Is it true that what happens to us determines our destiny? 

Or is it the perception or interpretation of those events shaping our lives?