A Transformational Experience

Back in 2009, I moved to Los Angeles to join an enthusiastic group of visionaries with the inspiring mission to transform the world through the transformation of entertainment and media. For the past four years, I have dedicated a big percentage of my time to this organization without any financial compensation. I believed that what this group aspired to achieve was completely aligned to my own personal goals and mission.  What a great way to reach a higher level of awareness... and a way to inspire others as well!

We had a very successful first event in Los Angeles. I will always remember that event as something that completely transformed my life. People in the entertainment industry attended to learn about this new organization. Unlike other Hollywood events, this one stood out as one that was bringing people together for a common vision - awareness.  The energy in the theater was palpable. I felt so much humanity, compassion and connectedness in that auditorium during our first event.

We then had several smaller events for the following two years. I can say that I was in charge of producing them. I met so many wonderful people who have become close friends and business associates. I was convinced that this transformational entertainment organization was part of my life purpose. I was committed to it and did everything I could to support it, promote it and share its vision. I even chose it as my second year project while I was attending the University of Santa Monica.

Two years ago, when my scandal erupted.  See The Trevino-Alfieri Story. The CEO of this organization told me that I would be on "probation" and should not tell people I was associated with the organization. He added that if he or the executive team were asked about me, they would deny even knowing me. I was shocked to hear that. I should have left the company then. But I did not. I worked even harder to prove I was "worthy" of belonging to it.

Is this the way an organization based on spiritual awareness and transformation should operate? Is this the way ANY organization should conduct business?

There is much to share about what truly happened with this organization. I will be writing about specific topics in future posts. For now, what I would like to say is that I recently learned that I no longer work with this company.  And this is how I learned the news.

I received an email from the CEO of this organization. It was a reply to a person who wrote to him who had also cc'ed me. His message read...

Hello XXX, 

Hope you're well. 

I will add your new email address to my address book.

Lots of new and exciting developments at XXX -- will be in the next issue of XXX. 

Thanks.

XXX

PS Adriana no longer works with XXX. You don't have to copy her.

I don't know if he meant to cc me by "replying to all" but I certainly got the message. A very innovative and non-confrontational way of firing someone!!!     

More to come on this subject... Follow my blog!                                                                                                         

Connecting Dots

I remember watching the video of the commencement speech that Steve Jobs gave at Stanford University. His message really got to me. He talked about things that happen to us, things that might seem unfortunate. These events are dots, connecting dots, that we don't recognize until we are able to look back.

I also see people as connectors. Just think about how many of your close friends or people who are very dear to you were brought to your life by someone else... maybe by someone with whom you no longer communicate.

The first person I can think of is my ex-husband Dave. He was not particularly a good husband. He was physically, emotionally and psychologically abusive towards me and anyone around him. I got an order for protection against him and moved to California to get away from him.  If anyone had told me, "if you marry Dave, you will be divorced in less than 2 years and it will cost you over a quarter million dollars", I would have laughed at that ridiculous statement. Well, that is exactly what happened. Marrying and divorcing this man cost me over $350,000. I lost that money in just two years!!!!

Erica

What did I gain from that relationship???? Most people would say that the relationship was a huge mistake and that I would have been better off not even meeting him. That could not be farther from the truth. The truth is that I met Dave's daughters, Jenna and Erica, back in 2006 and fell in love with them. They became my daughters and friends instantly.

If someone asked me, "if you could change your past and erase Dave from it, would you do so?" My answer would be NO. If the only way to get Jenna and Erica in my life were to go through the painful marriage I experienced, I would do it all over again.  Jenna and Erica are a treasure to me!

I spent this weekend taking Erica's senior pictures. She has certainly grown up! She is not the little ten-year old I met. I remember playing ball in the backyard with her like it was just yesterday - it was seven years ago! It is even easier to spend time with her now that she is older. We can talk about... anything!

What an honor to have these girls in my life. I look forward to seeing them graduate from college, get jobs, become independent, get married and have children.

So, every time you feel like you have invested too much time in a relationship that eventually went nowhere, stop for a minute and reflect on how this relationship connected you to a job opportunity, other people or how it simply brought you more awareness. I can assure you that you always end up gaining more that what you put in... you just have to look back and connect the dots.

Lessons We Choose

I strongly believe that there are no such things as accidents or coincidences. There is always a reason for everything. Even random events are not really that random. The universe has a way to make things work out one way or the other.

If we have the awareness that everything happens for a reason, then even tragedies and misfortune would have a purpose. Is it because we choose them? Or is it karma?

What I know is that we have all the tools and resources necessary to deal with any given situation. We are also given very clear signs of what to do.

I remember talking with Don Miguel Ruiz about my conflict with Victor Alfieri. Miguel asked me, "when did you know?" I replied, "when did I know what?" Looking at me with compassionate eyes, he said again, "when did you know?"

Now I understand that we always know when something goes against our integrity and our true self. We then fail to acknowledge it and simply ignore it. My relationship with Victor was not all bad, of course. I was very happy with him. There were a couple of situations, however, when I knew something was off and I chose to go against my own integrity. I chose to ignore that feeling in my gut, that warning.

I have been dealing with a more recent situation that illustrates this same issue. I have a terrible relationship with my current roommate. Fortunately she is in the process of moving out and we can both go our separate ways. I will not go into details on who said what or did what; who is right and who is wrong.

I did not choose her to be my roommate. What happened is that my previous roommate needed to move out immediately and find someone to take over his part of the lease. I wanted to help him out. He is a wonderful person. So I agreed to take her in when my gut... actually my whole body was telling me that I should not do so.  I sensed the most negative energy emanating from her, not to mention her very different lifestyle and hygiene habits.

I thought that I could still get along with her. I swallowed my words and buried my feelings. I tried to live in peace. She would start fights just because I asked her to clean her mess. If I cleaned her mess, she would yell at me for doing so. After living with me almost 9 months, she has NEVER cleaned the kitchen or common areas. She has left rotten food in the fridge for months until I take it out. I have had to do all the cleaning myself.

And this issue with cleanliness is the smallest of all issues. There have been issues with utility bills not paid by her in months, guests, noise (she forbids people to talk in the living room), use of my personal things, etc, etc.

The situation is so horrible now that we cannot be in each other's presence without feeling like we are in a battle. I am aware that I am not particularly nice to her. I have bottled my frustrations for so long that now they cannot be contained anymore. I see myself acting like this and it truly saddens me. I don't like to be this way to anyone.

So what can be done about this??? Fortunately she will be moving out very soon. This terrible nightmare will end with her departure. But I cannot help but wonder, "could I have avoided this?" This experience has taught me a very valuable lesson:  To listen to my heart and my body as they react to a person, situation or place. Those are very strong indicators and guides on how to deal with them.  If I feel anger, frustration, tension, uneasiness, it is probably because I should stay away from that person, place or situation. I am talking about experiencing these emotions/feelings without any apparent trigger or cause - when I feel them for no reason, no reason at all.

We could apply this principle to when the opposite is experienced - joy, excitement, freedom.... then we know that this positive energy we experience from being around that person(s), situation or place is a clear sign that spending time and being around them would have a beneficial impact in our life.

So should we only choose the pleasant, cheerful, positive, joyful???  For the most part, I believe we should. There are other situations that are out of our control and that are not as pleasant. Having those challenging experiences are a great way toward our personal and spiritual growth. The wisdom comes in differentiating what I choose freely to keep in my life and what I have indirectly chosen as a lesson to  learn.

What is clear to me is that I always have a choice when facing any situation. There is always a door - a way out. We are never helpless victims. We decide how long we stay and when it's time to leave.

Events that Shape Our Lives

How many times have you experienced an event in your life that has forever changed your life - an event that was not expected and that takes you by surprise?... a sudden death in the family, an unplanned pregnancy, loss of a job or an accident?

And what about those decisions that you avoid making because of guilt or fear of the unknown? Tough decisions such as quitting a dreadful job, filing for divorce or having an abortion?

We generally think that negative events are out of our control and that difficult decisions can be avoided or delayed indefinitely. On the other hand, we tend to believe that positive and pleasant events are a result of our hard work and discipline... or simply good fortune.

My personal opinion is that the obstacles and challenges we encounter in our lives are what strengthen our mental and spiritual abilities while increasing our level of understanding, forgiveness and compassion. These seemingly negative experiences are actually gifts we are offered in life. But they only become gifts if we are willing to see beyond the pain and sorrow.

This Blog

I decided to start this blog to document my journey in the creation and the writing of my book and script. To be totally honest, I never thought I would be "blogging." It all started with my first blog "The Trevino-Alfieri Story." I wanted to speak up and tell my story. It was amazing how easy it was for me to write the numerous posts in that blog.

My intention in writing this current blog is to help me structure and keep me inspired to finish my book. The title of my book will be the same as this blog, "Who Is Writing Your Story?"

My book will focus on one specific series of related events that has had the greatest impact in my life. Through this book, I will be sharing the transformational process I went through and the increased spiritual awareness I have experienced.

Is it true that what happens to us determines our destiny? 

Or is it the perception or interpretation of those events shaping our lives?